First steps

Today I did it! I took my first step toward a new mindset and a push for a better me. Ever since I was a kid, I have dreamed of running like I see others do along the sidewalk. Unfortunately, I never took the first step. If it wasn't for an organized sport, I was not running. Now this isn't some blog just about running or preparing for a marathon; this is a blog about me preparing for the ultimate comeback of a lifetime. See, this May, I found myself in the hospital for a week with a Multiple Sclerosis (MS) flare-up that took the strength in my legs and made my brain even more foggy. My body has had a slow recovery since then, and I cannot continue to do all that I do if I do not act now. 

I have been diagnosed (dx) with MS for 9 years now. Yes, I did have to count on my fingers how many years, and yes, I did have to look up the year of my dx. My journey with this incredible pain in my butt has been one of adventure and nothing shy of a roller coaster ride. It all started with Bell's Pasley and my mother thinking that I had a stroke. The endless trips to the doctor and my having vertigo on top of all of that made the car ride more fun. I will never forget the warning my mother gave me about not vomiting in her car, but you guessed it, that was too late. With all of the tests and taps, I had a new beast to tackle while in college and was not able to drive myself. My professors were all very accommodating and made sure I caught up with the rest of the class. My family were rockstars on getting me from point A to point b, c, and d. My step-team family cried with me as we realized that I couldn't join them anymore because of how dizzy everything made me. Oh, and you can't forget one of my eyes literally was not self-blinking. An eye patch and a great support system helped me through this confusing, frustrating time. I would not be as strong today without them (wanted to erase this because that's too mushy but decided to keep it since this is me). 

Now I want you to keep in mind that for 9 years, I have had small spells if you had to give them a name of MS symptoms. The facial paralysis wore off, and my doctor cleared me to drive with the privilege of a temporary handicap placard as my legs and feet swell, and I cannot walk sometimes. Since that summer, I have been dizzy, had slight face paralysis, feet and legs swelling and making it difficult to walk, and some brain fogs and farts. I was able to move out of my parent's house and into the real world of adulthood. I got into education and still worked several part-time jobs while attempting to maintain my own photography business. I even decided to get married after saying that I never wanted to. All the stress and toils of life started to weigh down on me, and the icing on the cake was the separation of my spouse and me. Of course, the ends of relationships are ugly, but this one was horrible. Work did not make anything better, and before I knew it, I was sitting in the ER next to a young lady and her man walking in and out of the building, arguing about their relationship. 

After a week of MRIs and a whole truckload of steroids, the physical therapist told me to walk at my pace and use a device to help with balance; the doctor agreed that I probably received way too many steroids, and the neurologists suggested I start treatment immediately. So, my partner took me to the store and tried to convince me to use the motorized shopping cart, but I had just laid on my butt for a week straight, which had killed me enough. I slowly walked to the cane section and picked out my new accessory. The young tender age of 30, and I now ride around with a cane in my car because I never know when my legs are going to say not today. As a person who stays busy, I needed to feel independent, so I returned to work immediately and put more stress on my body. I had vision trouble, and my legs were getting better, but I would just come home and sit in my car because my legs were done for the day.

After 9 years of research and help from my amazing aunt that is rocking the nursing field, I am finally recovering. I have not decided which treatment to take yet, but I have removed gluten from my diet as much as possible since I have a gluten intolerance and I am on the road to becoming a vegetarian. The biggest thing my primary physician told me as she gave me my permanent handicap paperwork was to keep moving and to stop living as though I am a completely healthy 30-year-old. Those words helped me the most. I have been discussing health and wealth on my podcast, and I needed that more for me than anything. So today, I took a walk early in the morning in my community, and I can see myself moving to run by next year.

I am not giving up a fight that I didn't ask for in the first place, and I hope if you are going through a fight this blog will encourage you to keep going. I am running on fumes, but I am running until I have completed all the goals in life that I want to, no matter how long it takes. What are you fighting in your life?